2008-07-26

E-assignment 2 - Dialogues

I had so much fun creating these dialogues. I hope you will enjoy reading them. I look forward to any and all comments. /Nina

1) Two office workers who know but dislike each other are trapped in a lift/an elevator with a sales representative who they've never met before but who they're both immediately attracted to. Help is on its way.

Office worker 1: (to sales rep) Hi there! I don’t think we have met before. My name is...
Office worker 2: (interrupts) You really think she will care what your name is?
OW1: (annoyed) Was I talking to you? Do I look like I want to talk to you?
Sales rep: Guys... I am...
OW2: I am so grateful you’re not talking to me! My brain is too valuable to be contaminated by people like you.
OW1: People like me? At least I don’t work at the mail department!
OW2: What’s wrong with the mail department? It’s honest work it is! Be careful what you say, remember I can make your mail take the scenic route through Hwongazulu for an entire month!
OW1: Ha! You ought to remember who’s handling your paycheck!
OW2: Like working as a salary administrator is such an accomplishment!
OW1: It sure beats the mail department by three floors!
OW2: If you bothered to actually do some math you’d see that I make more money than you.
OW1: And what do you spend them on? A fancy European car! You can’t even be bothered to buy an American car, can you? Un-American is what you are!
OW2: (happy that the subject of cars came up) Hey! Leave my Mercedes out of this.
OW2 to sales rep: Did I tell you I have a Mercedes? A very reliable German car...
OW1: A car that will pollute the environment! I drive a Ford Flexifuel. Etanol is the future!
OW2: Didn’t you know? Scientists now say that etanol will pollute the environment more than gasoline.
OW1 (defeated in the car department tries a new angle): So... I haven’t seen you in the gym lately. Getting lazy are we? (pokes OW2 in the gut). I benchpress 225 lbs, how much do you?
OW2: (slightly jealous of that amount tries a new tactic) I haven’t had time to go to the gym since I have been renovating my house and brushed up my Shakespeare in the evenings.
OW1: Shakespeare eh? Well, I read him ages ago. I moved on to heavier works.
OW2: And what could that possibly be? The TV-guide?
OW1: Machiavelli, Homer...

The elevator starts to move again. Sales rep sighs a breath of relief when her phone rings.

- Hi honey! I’m fine. I’ve been stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes with Superman and Spiderman. Could you pick up the Batmobile from the garage and get Batboy from day care while I meet Batgirl? I promised her a girls’ night out, you know, shopping, dinner and a movie. I suspect we’ll catch a chick flick of some sort. (sales rep glances at the now defeated office workers and decides to gloat a little) Oh and honey? Remember our date later... when the kids are asleep. You and me in the batcave...


2) Scenario: At the North Pole in Santa’s house. Santa wants to revise the travel plans for Christmas with head-reindeer Rudolph. Mrs Claus knows that Rudolph is on a hot date with lady reindeer, Vixen, and wishes that Santa does not know about it yet.

Santa: (somewhat annoyed) Where is Rudolph? He’s late for our meeting.
Mrs Claus: (evasive) I... I don’t know dear. Would you look at that! Your nice red coat is all wrinkly. I will have to iron it.
Santa: He knows the meeting was tonight. We need to finalize the plans for Christmas. I have figured out a new route! Maybe I should give him a call.Where did I put my glasses? I can never see the numbers on these tiny new cell phones. Soon I will need a magnifying glass just to make a simple phone call!
Mrs Claus: (stalling)They probably are right where you left them dear. Have you seen your good boots?
Santa: (confused by change of subject) What about them?
Mrs Claus: Well, have you polished them? Are they ready for Christmas? I will not have you running all over the world in dirty boots! What will people think of us?!
Santa: I don’t think anyone notices my boots dear. All they’re interested in are presents.
Mrs Claus: I care!
Santa: (even more confused) Why do you care about my boots?
Mrs Claus: (exasperated by hubby’s ignorance of fashion statements) Because all the elves’ wifes will laugh at me if I let you go out in dirty boots. Now go polish them.
Santa: (losing patience) I do not have time for this! I have a meeting with Rudolph. Where is he?! Do you think anything has happened to him?
Mrs Claus: (still stalling Santa) Drats! Now I burned my finger on the iron. Could you get me some ice?
Santa: (fetching ice) Are you avoiding my question?
Mrs Claus: (desperatly improvising) Um... well... your belt!! Where is it? I know it was a tad short last year, have you gotten a new one yet?
Santa: You do know where Rudolph is!

(Rudolph tumbles through the door, leaving snowy hoofprints all over Mrs Claus squeaky clean wooden floor.)

Santa: (relieved) Ah Rudolph! There you are! Welcome! Have you thought about the new plans?
Mrs Claus: (trying to save the situation) But let the poor reindeer take a breath and sit down before you pelt him with questions dear. It is so good to see you Rudolph. Is everything allright? Your nose is rather... bright tonight. Would you like something to drink?
Rudolph: (out of breath like he has been running) I am so sorry I am late Santa. It was not my intention. And yes, I really would like something to drink Mrs Claus.
Santa: So what kept you? Emergency?
Rudolph: (not knowing what to tell Santa) Would you look at the mess I dragged in! Please, Mrs Claus, let me help you clean it up.
Mrs Claus: You’re such a nice reindeer Rudolph! I’ll get you a mop.

(Mrs Claus leaves room to get a mop to clean up the now melted snow)

Santa: (notices for the first time) Is that tinsel I see in you antlers?
Rudolph: (squirming) Um...Santa? There is something I have to tell you... I know it is bad timing and all but Vixen and me... we’re... um... friends.
Santa: Friends?
Rudolph: Well, yes. More than friends really. We’ve been seeing each other in secret for a couple of months now. Hence the tinsel. We were on a date.
Santa: (amused) Really?
Rudolph: (anxious) This will of course not affect our work schedule. I will lead and light the way and Vixen will be paired with Prancer as usual.
Santa: (rubs his hands with glee) This was joyous knews indeed! I knew there was something fishy going on. I thought you might be in trouble or something. You’re never late for a meeting and Mrs Claus even burned her finger on the iron! Probably on purpose at that. She never burns her finger. She knew, didn’t she? And of course this will not affect our schedule. Dancer and Prancer manage to work well together don’t they?
Rudolph: (relieved at Santa’s blessing) Yes, I came to her for advice what to do about my feelings for Vixen. Mrs Claus is very good at this.
Santa: (beaming with pride) I know, she’s been playing matchmaker for the elves for several centuries now and the divorce rate is almost non-existent.
Rudolph: (suddenly apprehensive) Eh... right...
Santa: (mockingly stern)You are planning on making an honest reindeer of Vixen right?
Rudolph: Um...
Santa: (excited) I will perform the ceremony myself and give a speech!
Rudolph: (getting a bad feeling) About the plans for Christmas...
Santa: (getting more excited about the prospect of a Christmas wedding) Ah the plans, well we have new, more important plans to make now! We’ll take the same route as last year, it worked didn’t it? Now, would you like to have the reception here or in the great hall?


3) Scenario: For me to know and you to guess. :)

Abby: Hey let’s go in here! They have these new cool jeans I saw on tv. You know, the ones Britney is wearing.
Jenny: Cool! I want those!
Caitlyn: Like you’re ever going to look like Britney.
Jenny: Like yuck! Who would want to look like her? She is so out.
Abby: At least she gets headlines. And those jeans are hot.
Caitlyn: (giggles) Speaking of hot... look who’s over there...
Abby: Quick! In here!
Jenny: Ouch! You hurt my arm!
Abby: It’s Alex! He can’t see us here! I look like a mess.
Caitlin: Nah, you look good.
Jenny: Yeah. Go talk to him.
Abby: (giggles) I can’t do that!
Caitlyn: Why not? Sooner or later you need to talk to him you know.
Abby: But I want him to hit on me. You know, take the initiative. I want to know if he likes me.
Jenny: All you gotta do is ask.
Caitlyn: Hey! Take a look at this!
Jenny: You can’t go in something like that! You’ll look like a nun.
Caitlyn: Hmm maybe you’re right. I need something with a tad higher slut-factor.
Jenny: (applies lip gloss) Not too much though. You don’t want Mark to think you’re easy.
Caitlyn: (looks around) Where did Abby disappear to?
Abby: Still here. That b**ch Michelle talked to Alex.
Jenny: Oh no!
Abby: (shows picture she took with cell phone camera of Michelle and Alex talking)
I’m gonna rip her ogling eyes out! Look here!
Caitlyn: Oh my god! What is she wearing?!
Jenny: You gotta be kidding me! Wearing something like that? She looks like she came straight from the funny farm!
Abby: I know! And still she managed to talk to him! What am I doing wrong?
Caitlyn: (arches eyebrow) Hiding maybe?
Abby: (wails) I am not pretty enough! And he is attracted to ugly girls! I have no reason to live anymore. (crumbles onto floor sobbing)
Jenny: Hey, come on. There’s gotta be something in here you can impress him with on Sat. Let’s go find the perfect outfit for you.
Caitlyn: Yeah, let’s go wear that VISA-card out!
Jenny: Speaking of VISA-cards... In home economics Mrs Baker said we needed to make a budget for a month. (rolls eyes)
Caitlyn: Yeah right... Like that would ever happen.
Jenny: Teachers are so lame. Except for Mr Hackberry. He’s nice. And cute.
Abby: You got the hots for the math teacher? He’s like a gazillion years old!
Jenny: Nah only like 30 or so.
Caitlyn: That’s gross!
Jenny: (blushes) I just think he’s cute! That’s all!
Abby: What about Sean then? He’s been ogling you for like a month now! You think he’s coming to the party on Saturday? Oh look! I found the perfect dress!
Caitlyn: That is so cool! I want one of those!
Abby: I saw it first! You can’t wear the same outfit as me! That’s so kindergarten!
Jenny: How about you flip a coin for it? Or get different colors?
Abby + Caitlin in unison: Deal!
Caitlyn: All we have to do now is find something for Jenny to wear. Oh and shoes of course. Can't get a dress without matching shoes.

4 comments:

Maggie Nash said...

I can tell you enjoyed writing those Nina!

They're great! Love the superheroes the best!

Nina said...

Thanks Margie!

I think I will have to learn more how to write dialogue. It was a fun exercise.

Nina

Heather said...

Love the Batman line, Nina - well done!

Fia said...

These were all great! I loved every single one of them. But which is the best... I do not know, i say all of them=)