1st Assignment Creative Writing

“How do you fit in a full-grown race horse into a normal-sized car?”

All 153 students woke up to listen to my reply. A needle dropped on the floor would generate a magnificient boom. Being a professor in physics isn’t easy when questions like this arise. Every semester there is a student living in the delusion that he is the next Jerry Seinfeld. Everyone expected a lecture on time-space warps and other dimensions. Ah well... here we go.

“Well, fitting a full-grown race horse into a normal-sized car is not as a gargantuan task as it might appear at first glance. There are a couple of things to consider before you try to stuff the poor animal into your vehicle.

“First and foremost you have to make sure that the horse in question is a fully emancipated horse, or that the horse has a completely filled out form of consent from its owner. This is crucial if you do not wish to be apprehended by the police for theft.

“Before you seat the beast into your car it is necessary to check that the elephants in the back seat use the seat belts. Seat belts are mandatory and will protect you and the horse if the elephants would panic due to a mouse on the run from the sooty boa constrictor, currently wrapped around the exhaust pipe.

“Now, if you have successfully seated the horse in the car and checked everyones seat belt you’re almost ready to go. The last thing you have to check is the giraffe in the trunk. The usually mellow giraffes tend to become cranky if they get a crick in the neck from lack of stretching space. The best way to accomodate a giraffe in the trunk is to saw a hole through the lid of the trunk for it to stick its head up. This will make your car look somewhat similar to a submarine with a giraffe’s neck and head for a periscope. It looks ridiculous, but it will save you from cranky giraffes which makes it worth the damage to your car.

“Did that answer your question?”

I smiled at the gaping students. Another semester, another bunch of students thinking that the professor had lost her mind. Maybe they were right.
After the lecture I gathered up my notes as the janitor, who had heard the joke many times, swept the floor. I realized that there was only one sane person in this room and it wasn’t me.


Heather said...


Maggie Nash said...

I like it Nina...especially the last line! Great finish :-)


Nina said...

Thank you! Always flattering to get such nice reviews from real writers!

The first sentence and the last sentence were part of the assignment so I cannot take credit for it. I have no idea who came up with it. It was great fun to write this challenge.


Blacklung said...

I like your story. I think you did the assignment in a clever way and your short story turned out great.

Bella said...

This was really funny and cute :)

happywriting said...

This was one of my favourite storys. To get a good story, just add a bit of follyness... ;)
It's a pity the last line wasn't used in more storys, since it's so great! Keep up the good work! :) // Linnea

felix said...

reminded me of my math teaching mother who always makes fun of he students...