I do not aspire to be a poet or anything but I had been writing a whole day so I wasn't surprised when inspiration hit me. Now I will inflict my most recent collection of words upon you my friends.
Grammar
The strong verbs dash headlong into sentences
The weak verbs hobble along
propped up by the adverbs
The colourful adjectives display their superlatives
like peacocks prance around showing off their feathers.
The reliable nouns keep everything in order.
The prepositions know where everyone is
The conjunctions mediate between arrogant main clauses
and submissive dependent clauses.
They all work together
as a team
to tell my story
That's all for now!
Nina
2008-06-23
2008-06-21
1st Assignment Creative Writing
“How do you fit in a full-grown race horse into a normal-sized car?”
All 153 students woke up to listen to my reply. A needle dropped on the floor would generate a magnificient boom. Being a professor in physics isn’t easy when questions like this arise. Every semester there is a student living in the delusion that he is the next Jerry Seinfeld. Everyone expected a lecture on time-space warps and other dimensions. Ah well... here we go.
“Well, fitting a full-grown race horse into a normal-sized car is not as a gargantuan task as it might appear at first glance. There are a couple of things to consider before you try to stuff the poor animal into your vehicle.
“First and foremost you have to make sure that the horse in question is a fully emancipated horse, or that the horse has a completely filled out form of consent from its owner. This is crucial if you do not wish to be apprehended by the police for theft.
“Before you seat the beast into your car it is necessary to check that the elephants in the back seat use the seat belts. Seat belts are mandatory and will protect you and the horse if the elephants would panic due to a mouse on the run from the sooty boa constrictor, currently wrapped around the exhaust pipe.
“Now, if you have successfully seated the horse in the car and checked everyones seat belt you’re almost ready to go. The last thing you have to check is the giraffe in the trunk. The usually mellow giraffes tend to become cranky if they get a crick in the neck from lack of stretching space. The best way to accomodate a giraffe in the trunk is to saw a hole through the lid of the trunk for it to stick its head up. This will make your car look somewhat similar to a submarine with a giraffe’s neck and head for a periscope. It looks ridiculous, but it will save you from cranky giraffes which makes it worth the damage to your car.
“Did that answer your question?”
I smiled at the gaping students. Another semester, another bunch of students thinking that the professor had lost her mind. Maybe they were right.
All 153 students woke up to listen to my reply. A needle dropped on the floor would generate a magnificient boom. Being a professor in physics isn’t easy when questions like this arise. Every semester there is a student living in the delusion that he is the next Jerry Seinfeld. Everyone expected a lecture on time-space warps and other dimensions. Ah well... here we go.
“Well, fitting a full-grown race horse into a normal-sized car is not as a gargantuan task as it might appear at first glance. There are a couple of things to consider before you try to stuff the poor animal into your vehicle.
“First and foremost you have to make sure that the horse in question is a fully emancipated horse, or that the horse has a completely filled out form of consent from its owner. This is crucial if you do not wish to be apprehended by the police for theft.
“Before you seat the beast into your car it is necessary to check that the elephants in the back seat use the seat belts. Seat belts are mandatory and will protect you and the horse if the elephants would panic due to a mouse on the run from the sooty boa constrictor, currently wrapped around the exhaust pipe.
“Now, if you have successfully seated the horse in the car and checked everyones seat belt you’re almost ready to go. The last thing you have to check is the giraffe in the trunk. The usually mellow giraffes tend to become cranky if they get a crick in the neck from lack of stretching space. The best way to accomodate a giraffe in the trunk is to saw a hole through the lid of the trunk for it to stick its head up. This will make your car look somewhat similar to a submarine with a giraffe’s neck and head for a periscope. It looks ridiculous, but it will save you from cranky giraffes which makes it worth the damage to your car.
“Did that answer your question?”
I smiled at the gaping students. Another semester, another bunch of students thinking that the professor had lost her mind. Maybe they were right.
After the lecture I gathered up my notes as the janitor, who had heard the joke many times, swept the floor. I realized that there was only one sane person in this room and it wasn’t me.
2008-06-09
Reading Romance
An interesting thing happened a couple of weeks ago. The student office had spring cleaning I guess and gave away books for free. Now, anyone who knows me can guess my reaction. It was like Yay!! Gimme!!!
Most of the books and other texts that were given away were textbooks and university booklets and essays and such, but some were romance novels. I was fascinated. What can romance novels possibly have been doing at a university? Then it hit me. Maybe romance novels aren't as put down as I think they are. Or someone put private books on that table as well as uni property. They were old novels. I swiped four of them.
Yes, I like to read romance novels. I am very aware that they do not in any way reflect the real world. But then again, I like to read fantasy novels and sci-fi also. They don't reflect the real world either. They are however not as frowned upon as romance novels. I wonder why.
I know a couple of authors of romance novels. They are highly educated, skilled women who works hard to write their novels. It is not easy to write a romance novel. Everyone who thinks so is very welcome to try. Besides being hard to write, they are even harder to sell. As any manuscript is since there are so many trying. Only a few do it well.
The sad thing is that the romance novels lose quite a lot in translation. They're better in English. Too bad they're not available here. Very good thing to have American friends sending books and stuff once in a while.
Anyway, as I was saying, romance novels are just as good as any other genre. Just because they aren't sold in any bookstores doesn't mean they're not litterature. And just because they're not hardcover doesn't mean they're not books.
I am not going to apologize for reading romance novels, nor will I apologize for reading fantasy or sci-fi. I will not apologize for reading Shakespeare, Doyle or Foucault. That is for certain. I read whatever I want. I am a highly educated woman. I am neither stupid or uneducated. I still will read romance novels. Mainly because I like them. Just like in fantasy and sci-fi. It's a matter of taste, not class.
In the words of friend Heather: With reading decreasing more and more one should applaud every effort to read there is.
Just my two Euros...
Ta ta for now!
Nina
Most of the books and other texts that were given away were textbooks and university booklets and essays and such, but some were romance novels. I was fascinated. What can romance novels possibly have been doing at a university? Then it hit me. Maybe romance novels aren't as put down as I think they are. Or someone put private books on that table as well as uni property. They were old novels. I swiped four of them.
Yes, I like to read romance novels. I am very aware that they do not in any way reflect the real world. But then again, I like to read fantasy novels and sci-fi also. They don't reflect the real world either. They are however not as frowned upon as romance novels. I wonder why.
I know a couple of authors of romance novels. They are highly educated, skilled women who works hard to write their novels. It is not easy to write a romance novel. Everyone who thinks so is very welcome to try. Besides being hard to write, they are even harder to sell. As any manuscript is since there are so many trying. Only a few do it well.
The sad thing is that the romance novels lose quite a lot in translation. They're better in English. Too bad they're not available here. Very good thing to have American friends sending books and stuff once in a while.
Anyway, as I was saying, romance novels are just as good as any other genre. Just because they aren't sold in any bookstores doesn't mean they're not litterature. And just because they're not hardcover doesn't mean they're not books.
I am not going to apologize for reading romance novels, nor will I apologize for reading fantasy or sci-fi. I will not apologize for reading Shakespeare, Doyle or Foucault. That is for certain. I read whatever I want. I am a highly educated woman. I am neither stupid or uneducated. I still will read romance novels. Mainly because I like them. Just like in fantasy and sci-fi. It's a matter of taste, not class.
In the words of friend Heather: With reading decreasing more and more one should applaud every effort to read there is.
Just my two Euros...
Ta ta for now!
Nina
2008-06-04
Summer holidays
Yay! The summer holidays have started! I've had final exam and the last corrections made to last essay handed in yesterday. Today it was warm and sunny so I decided to take the day off and engage in some of my favourite activities.
I have only two weeks of summer holidays so I'd better enjoy every minute of them. I sat in front of tv and watched some of my favourite daytime tv-shows like Rachael Ray, Oprah, Dr Phil and Ellen. Yes, I do like them and I admit I do watch them. Not every day. I don't have time to sit down every day to watch tv all day long, but sometimes I just let the tv run all day long. And please don't bother me with that old "you need to be outside when it's sunny"-garbage. No I do NOT need to be outside, in fact, I could stay indoors all summer long if it suits me. I'll go outside when it pleases me.
I was good today though. Read a bit in new course book. I did tell you I'm taking a class in the summertime too right? That's why my summer holidays are just two weeks. Next class starts in mid-June. So I started to read Edith Wharton's "The Age of Innocense". So far it is a very good novel. And cheap. Lord knows all books bought for uni studies are outrageously expensive but this one wasn't. I was thrilled! I love books! I would love to live in a library! Don't get me started on that subject...
Anyway, so far I like the novel. The language itself is enough to keep me reading. You know me, grammar geek no 1. It's almost poetry. Very fitting for the setting of the novel. It was just like "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon that we read in another class. The language itself is such a crucial part of the story. I guess most people doesn't realize this. I know I didn't pay any attention to this before taking my classes in English. Now I will pay more attention to it when writing my own. I've talked to a lot of talented authors and a lot of people in the writing community and the single most important piece of advice they give is to find my own voice and style of writing. However, the voice of the author cannot override the voice of the story. It would be seriouly strange if one of, let's say, Jane Austen's characters would suddenly say "yo dude!" right? Or if a rap star suddenly thee-d and thou-d everyone.
So that is what I learned today. And what the word "accrued" means. Thanks Pet!
I did realize something too. I'm very fond of the word "however" suddenly. Please don't be annoyed with me. It's just a phase.
Ta ta for now!
Nina
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